Various Artists Follow

May I have your attention, please
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here

Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
They first were divorced, throwing her over furniture, aah

It's the return of the, aww, wait, no wait, you're kidding
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?
And Dr. Dre said, nothing, you idiots, Dr. Dre's dead
He's locked in my basement

Feminist women love Eminem
Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady
I'm sick of him, look at him walkin' around
Grabbin' his you know what, flippin' to you know who

Yeah, but he's so cute though
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's goin' on in your parent's bedroom
But sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose
But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose

My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is

Of course, they're gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
We ain't nothin' but mammals, well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like antelopes

But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
You think I give a damn about a Grammy
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me

But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs

So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
Hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Fuckin bitch, put me on blast on MTV
Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee hee

I should download her audio on MP3
And show the world how you gave Eminem VD
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, All you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you

And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me

I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

I'm like a head trip to listen to 'cause I'm only givin' you things
You joke about with your friends inside you livin' room
Only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya'll
And I ain't gotta be false or sugar coated at all

I just get on the mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it
I just shit it better than ninety percent of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm thirty

I'll be the only person in the nursing home, flirting
Pinchin' nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with jergen's
And I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
In every single person there's a Slim Shady lurkin'

He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot, circling, screamin', I don't give a fuck
With his windows down and his system up
So will the real Shady please stand up

And put one of those fingers on each hand up
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

Now throw your hands in the air
And wave it like you just don't care
And if you don't give a, like we don't give a
Let we now say, oh yeah, oh yeah
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

Like that and you don't stop
Like that and you don't, don't stop
One, two, two, two, two, two, two

May I have your attention, please
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?