Todd Snider Follow

Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

In the hallway of a high school, anywhere USA
There was a bully that would pick on a different kid
And it seemed like every day

He had this pack of back slapping buddies
That would laugh and back him up all the way
And this screaming girlfriend
That would make believe in everything he'd say

Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

Because then one day this kid
That he'd beat up a couple times before
Realized, to even his own surprise
That he probably could indeed take more

And with that he hatched an evil plan to make that devil pay
He walked up to him, in the middle of the gym
And he found the nerve to say
You gonna hit somebody, today? You gonna hit me, too
In fact, you're gonna hit me every day
Because now I'm picking on you

And as crazy as it all might sound right now
I'm not stopping until I'm through
It's too late to beg for mercy

Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

Because that bully he just laughed and laughed
Of course, and so did all of his friends
And he beat that poor kid unmercifully
For days and days on end

Only slightly less impressively each time
To that pretty girl and all of his friends
Who would eventually, secretly
Start hoping for that kid to win

So, is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

You know, you'll never hear him say this now
Because he thinks we still don't know
But winning this battle every day
Cost our bully the war a long time ago

And of all the scars he's got to show
For every blow that kid sneaks in
The worst one is probably knowing
That tomorrow he's going to have to get up
And fight that kid again

Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?