The Prodigy Follow

My name is Mud.
Not to be confused with Bill or Jack or Pete or Dennis.
My name is Mud.
It's always been.
'Cause I'm the most boring sonsabitch you've ever seen.
I dress in blue--yes navy blue.
From head to toe I'm rather drab,
except my patent shoes.
I make 'em shine.
Well most the time.
'Cept today my feet are troddin' on by this "friend of mine".
Six foot two and rude as hell.
I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell.
My name is Mud.

My name is Mud.
But call me Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie.
That's long for Mud.
So I've been told.
Told that by this sonsabitch that lies before be
bloated blue and cold.
I've got by pride.
I drink my wine.
I'd drink the finest except I haven't earned a dime
in several months--or were it years?
The breath on that fat bastard could bring any man to tears.
We had our words, a common spat.
So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat.
My name is Mud.