Stephen Sondheim Follow

About two unhappy dames
Let us call them Lucy, X and Jessie, Y
Which are not their real names

Now Lucy has the purity
Along with the unsurety
That comes with being
Only twenty-one

Jessie has maturity
And plenty of security
Whatever you can do
With them she's done

Given their advantages
You may ask why
The two ladies have such grief
This is my belief

In brief, Lucy is juicy
But terribly drab
Jessie is dressy
But cold as a slab

Lucy wants to be dressy
Jessie wants to be juicy
Lucy wants to be Jessie
And Jessie, Lucy

You see, Jessie is racy
But hard as a rock
Lucy is lacy
But dull as a smock

Jessie wants to be lacy
Lucy wants to be Jessie
That's the sorrowful precis
It's very messy

Poor sad souls
Itching to be switching roles
Lucy wants to do what Jessie does
Jessie want to be what Lucy was

Now if you see Lucy, X
Youthful, truthful Lucy, X
Let her know she's better
Than she suspects

Now if you see Jessie, Y
Faded, jaded Jessie, Y
Tell her that she's sweller
Than apple pie

Juicy Lucy, dressy Jessie
Juicy Lucy, dressy Jessie

Lucy's a lassie
You pat on the head
Jessie is classy
But virtually dead

Lucy wants to be classy
Jessie wants to be Lassie
If Lucy and Jessie could only combine
I could tell you someone
Who would finally feel just fine

Juicy Lucy, just fine
Dressy Jessie, just fine
Juicy Lucy, just fine
Dressy Jessie

Tell 'em that they ought
To get together quick
'Cause getting it together
Is the whole trick, yeah

About two unhappy dames
Let us call them Lucy, X and Jessie, Y