Smoking Popes Follow

you should've heard me sobbing
as i drove home at night.
got into bed and stayed there
for days, i just laid there, having been
permanently changed. but we won't get into that now
let's take it from the start.

you should've seen me smiling
like the world was mine.
she used to call me baby. softly. sometimes.
but if i dwell on those days too long, i feel like my life is over and that's no good.
so let's move on.

to the part where where i begin to sense her distance.
i panic and hold on tighter,
that makes it worse.
how am i supposed to take it when she says
"this is something i'm going thru,
it's got nothing to do with you"

(solo)

i had a special evening all planned out.
desperatly determined to reignite
some spark between us. she had to feel something for me.
a love as strong as ours doesn't just go away.
can't just turn it off. unless she was lying all those times.\
but i don't think so.
i really don't think so.
the way she used to look at me
made me a thousand feet high.
the meaning of the word cool.
not the same geek who fumbled with his words that night. the ugliest night.
i said some pretty awkward things.
i got the feeling that she felt sorry for me.
i should've seen it was hopeless and left it alone,
but i had to go on embarrassing myself.

i miss what we had, i need you so badly.
i miss what we had, i need you so badly.
i miss what we had, i need you so badly.
i miss what we had, i need you so badly.

i must've sounded pretty pathetic i know,
that's why i don't blame her for what she said.
but listen to me rambling.
we don't know each other that well, but you're so easy to talk to.
i feel i could tell you almost anything.
i hope i haven't put you off.
i have a tendency to do that.
why don't i just be quiet.