Richard M. Sherman Follow

Any simple peasant is afforded the ability in love
To win or lose
While I of the nobility
Am robbed of the facility to choose

Any serf or servant can, by natural selection
Elect himself a mate if she's amenable
But due to my high breeding I'm continually acceding
To demands I find increasingly untenable

I wish to know
I demand to know
Why can't I be two people?
Why can't I live two roles?
Why can't one of me perform all the cloying amenities?
While the other me, twin brother me
Be a free and happy soul!

Why can't I be two people?
Split myself right in half
Then I could satisfy and mollify and pacify and qualify
While the other me would have a helluva healthy laugh! Hah!

The custom of royalty in referring to one's self
Is to naturally employ the royal "we"
We are very happy, we are very sad
We are bored and suffer from ennui
For a royal prince there's no such word as "me"
It's always "we"
So rightfully I should be two or three
Don't you agree?

Why can't I be two people?
Why can't I play two parts?
Why can't one of me endure
The appalling formalities
While the other me, twin brother me
Have a free and happy heart!

If I could be two people
Life would not pass me by
I'd have a chance to pick and choose
I'd have a chance to win or lose
And maybe one of us would have a chance to live
Before we die!