Rheostatics Follow

Me and Stupid at the cottage,
Casting out for giant trout.
Me and Stupid threw back sunfish,
Digging worms and lighting punks.
Pretending we weren't real.

Me and Stupid at the coalis,
Picking scabs and playing tag.
Me and Stupid, skookum stupid,
We got wailed on ginger ale
As flat as the Ferguson girl.

Me and Stupid, he was different.
I told lies about my band.
(Me and Stupid, Stupid and Me.)
He said would I show him chords,
So I said "Yes," and I showed him
"The House of the Rising Sun,"
And some Original New Wave Rock!
He was my best friend...

Me and Stupid at the ball yard,
Throwing rocks to Rolling Stones.
He was Catfish Hunter,
I was Johnny Bench, and he would clench
That ball like the whole of the world.

Then on a night in the North Ontario summertime,
I heard a sound from the lake
Like the rage of a pike in the shallow reeds.

Something is about to happen. Leaves are still.
Two shores away, a man hammering in the sky...

I jumped down from the bunk where I slept
In the room with the fake-look wood
And the painting of God.
I could see his head bob there in the surf.
I could see his footprints fresh in the turf.
So I screamed and I yelled,
Like the time that I first heard Aerosmith.
Steve Tyler sang "Dream On," but I was stiff with fear
Seeing him drown in the cold lake.
So I screamed, and I yelled,
But all I heard was the sound of my hot... air.

Me and Stupid, his mind was fucked up,
But aren't we all in our own way?
They took Stupid to the Dumb House,
And that was all I saw of him.
That summer I heard the Ramones.
They played Original New Wave Rock!
(Pike! Trout! Minnows! Smelt!)