Randy Newman Follow

I'd like to say a few words in defense of our country
Whose people aren't bad nor are they mean
Now the leaders we have while they're the worst that we've had
Are hardly the worst this poor world has seen

Take the Caesars, for example
Why with the first few of them
They were sleeping with their sister
Stashed little boys in swimming pools
And burned down the city

And one of 'em, one of 'em
Appointed his own horse to be Counsel of the Empire
That's like vice president or something
No wait a minute that's not a very good example

Here's one Spanish Inquisition
Put people in a terrible position
I don't even like to think about it
Sometimes I like to think about it

Just a few words in defense of our country
Whose time at the top could be coming to an end
We don't want your love
Respect at this point's pretty much out of the question
Times like these we sure could use a friend

Hitler, Stalin, men who need no introduction
King Leopold of Belgium, that's right
Everyone thinks he's so great
Well, he owned the Congo, he tore it up too
Took the diamond, took the silver, took the gold
You know what he left 'em with? Malaria

A president once said
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"
Now we're supposed to be afraid
it's patriotic, in fact, color-coded

What we supposed to be afraid of?
Why of being afraid
That's what terror means, doesn't it?
That's what it used to mean

You know, it pisses me off a little
That this Supreme Court's gonna outlive me
Couple young Italian fellas
And a brother on the Court now too

But I defy you, anywhere in the world
To find me two Italians as tight asses as the two Italians we got
And as for the brother
Well, Pluto's not a planet anymore either

The end of an empire, is messy at best
This empire's ending like all the rest
Like the Spanish Armada adrift on the sea
We're adrift in the land of the brave
And the home of the free

Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye