Nicholas Folwell Follow

GENERAL:
I am the very model of a modern major-general,
I've information vegetable, animal and mineral,
I know the kings of England and I qoute the fights historical,
From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical.

I'm very well aquainted too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o news,
(Lot o news, lot o news, I have it!)
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse!

CHORUS:
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse!
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse!
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotepotenuse!

GENERAL:
I'm very good at intergral and differential calculus,
I know the scientific names of beings animalculus,
In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major-general.

CHORUS:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern major-general.

GENERAL:
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's,
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quoted Elegiacs, all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor perculiarities parabolas.

I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dowes an Zoffanies,
I know the coraking chorus of "The Frogs" of Aristophanes,
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's dinafore,
(Dinafore, dinafore, dinafore, dinafore, yes!)
And whistle all the airs to that infernal nonsense "Pinafore!"

CHORUS:
And whistle all the airs to that infernal nonsense "Pinafore!"
And whistle all the airs to that infernal nonsense "Pinafore!"
And whistle all the airs to that infernal nonsense "Pinapinafore!"

GENERAL:
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneform,
And tell you every detail of Caratacus's uneform,
In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major-general.

CHORUS:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern major-general.

GENERAL:
In fact, when I know what is meant by "Mamelon" and "Ravelin,"
When I can tell at sight a mauser from a javelin,
When such affairs a sorties and surprises I'm more weary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat."

When I have learned what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery,
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,
(Strategy, strategy, oh my god, that's a tricky one. But I've got one!)
You'll say a better major-genearal has never sat a gee!

CHORUS:
You'll say a better major-genearal has never sat a gee!
You'll say a better major-genearal has never sat a gee!
You'll say a better major-genearal has never sat a sat a gee!

GENERAL:
For my military knowledge though, I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century,
But still, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major-general.

CHORUS:
But still, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
He is the very mode of a modern major-general.