Marty Stuart Follow

Henry the Accountant

Words by Paul Kaplan
Sung to the tune of "John Henry"

1. Henry was an accountant
He worked with a pencil in his hand
If you had something you needed added up, then
Henry the Accountant was your man, Lord, Lord
Henry the Accountant was your man
Henry the Accountant was your man, Lord, Lord
Henry the Accountant was your man.

2. When Henry was a little baby
Sittin' on his daddy's knee
He picked up a crayon and a little piece of paper, he said
"Two plus one equals three, Lord, Lord
Two plus one equals three
Two plus one equals three, Lord, Lord
Two plus one equals three."

3. The man who bought the first calculator
He thought he was mighty fine
He walked up to Henry with a sneer on his lip and said
"Your job is gonna be mine, Lord, Lord
Your job is gonna be mine
Your job is gonna be mine, Lord, Lord
Your job is gonna be mine."

4. So Henry stood up and drew his weapon
He said, "A man isn't anything but a man
We'll have ourselves a race and I'll put you in your place or
I'll die with my pencil in my hand, Lord, Lord
I'll die with my pencil in my hand
I'll die with my pencil in my hand, Lord, Lord
I'll die with my pencil in my hand."

5. So each man grabbed a fifty-pound ledger
And Henry went to work with all his might
Though his hand was getting cramped and his shirt was getting damp, still
He swore that he would not give up the fight, Lord, Lord
He swore that he would not give up the fight
He swore that he would not give up the fight, Lord, Lord
He swore that he would not give up the fight.

6. After three long hours in battle
The man with the machine had moved ahead
He had Henry beat 'til on the final sheet
Suddenly his batteries went dead, Lord, Lord
Suddenly his batteries went dead
Suddenly his batteries went dead, Lord, Lord
Suddenly his batteries went dead.

7. So Henry beat that calculator
Now his powers could never be denied
But the terrible strain had been too much for his brain, so
He laid down his glasses and he died, Lord, Lord
He laid down his glasses and he died
He laid down his glasses and he died, Lord, Lord
He laid down his glasses and he died.

8. So they buried Henry in the graveyard
With his trusty pencil and his pad
And when their checks don't clear they always shed a tear for
The last human being who could add, Lord, Lord
The last human being who could add
He was the last human being who could add, Lord, Lord
The last human being who could add.

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Henry the Accountant