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Intro: Little Russ, Ice Cube

[story-teller] Once upon a time, in the black part of the city

[young kid] Yo G, yo G you better get out of here man, 5-0

[door swings shut, car peels out]

[Russ] Yo Ice Cube, man

[Cube] Whassup man?

[Russ] Why you...

[Cube] Whassup?

[Russ] Yo Ice Cube man, why you always kickin the shit about the bitches

and the niggaz? Why don't you kick some shit about the kids, man? The

fuckin kids?!

[Cube] Word

Little boys and girls, they all love me

Come sit on the lap of I-C-E

And let me tell ya a story or two

About a punk-ass nigga I knew

Named Jack, he wasn't that nimble, wasn't that quick

Jumped over the candlestick and burnt his dick

Ran up the street cause he was piping hot

Met a bitch named Jill on the bus stop

Dropped a line or two, and he had the hoe

At that type of shit he's a pro

So Jack and Jill ran up the hill to catch a lil nap

Dumb bitch, gave him the claps

Then he had to go see Dr. Bombay

Got a shot in the ass, and he was on his way

To make some money, why not?

Down on Sesame Street, the dope spot

There he saw the lady who lived in a shoe

Sold dope out the front, but in back, marijuana grew

For the man that was really important

Who lived down the street in a Air Jordan

Ride to the fellow Mister Rogers and hoes

Drove a 500 sittin on Lorenzoes

He broke out, Little Bo Peep, smoked out

Saw, her and her friends sellin sheepskins

[Little Bo Peep] Yo yo I got them sheepskins

Yo, my empty sheepskins

Yo baby, what's up with that?

Hickory dickory dock, it was twelve o'clock

Cinderella ain't home must be givin up the cock

I don't doubt it, she is kind of freaky of course

Had a fight with Snow White, she was fuckin her dwarfs

Saw a fight over colors, too

Red Riding Hood, and Little Boy Blue

A bad influence? Yo I don't know

But Ice Cube'll tell the kids how the story should go

Interlude: Little Russ

Yeah money, that's it, yeah money, that's it

This is Little Russ in the house

Rock that shit homey, rock that shit!

[Well, you know the rest]

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

With a joint, drinkin some 8-ball

Three little pigs in a Coup de Ville

Lookin for, the wolf to kill

They're fucked up and they want revenge

Them and Humpty used to be friends

Now they're enemies cause he's a traitor

Pulled out the Uzi cruised by and sprayed him

Cinderella hoeing for the fellas

And Mister Rogers is gettin mighty jealous

Of the cash that the pigs were makin

Time for the pigs to get turned to bacon

Cause Mister Rogers found out quick

That Humpty Dumpty was blown to bits

They said that the motherfuckin wolf was next

So Mister Rogers better watch his step

So he let the wolf know

We're gonna fuck up the pigs, and take their ho

Cause Cinderella is much too fast

Before twelve, givin up ass

Double barrels all loaded and cocked

As soon as they show, they gonna get popped

They bailed down Sesame Street and caught em

Little Boy Blue is up front givin orders

Little did they know Cinderella was a fink

She called the cops and got thrown in the clink

A bad influence? Yo, I don't know

But Ice Cube'll tell the kids how the stories should go

Outro: Little Russ, Ice Cube

[Cube] Aiyyo man was that dope enough for you?

[Russ] Yeah you aight, you in the house

We outta here, seeeee-yaaaaa

[Cube] Yeah you better go home before I whoop your little bad ass

[Barney Rubble] Some bedtime story huh?

[Bugs Bunny] It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't wanna live here

[Andrew Dice Clay] Ay, good ol' Mother Goose, remember her? I fucked her