Edward Kleban Follow

Miscellaneous
Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love
VAL
Hello twelve,

RICHIE
Hello thirteen,

MAGGIE
Hello love.

AL
Changes, oh!

BEBE
Down below.

DIANA
Up above.

VAL
Time to doubt,

MIKE
To break out,

RICHIE
It's a mess,

MAGGIE
It's a mess.

PAUL and JUDY
Time to grow.

MAGGIE and AL
Time to go

CONNIE, BOBBY and RICHIE
Adolesce,

ALL
Adolesce.
Too young to take over,
Too old to ignore,

AL
Gee, I'm almost ready,

ALL
But....what....for?
There's a lot I am not certain of.
Hello twelve, hello thirteen, hello love!
(Lights come up on group who are back on line)

ALL
Goodbye twelve, goodbye thirteen.
Hello love....

BEBE
Robert Goulet, Robert Goulet,
My God, Robert Goulet!

ALL
....Oh! Down below, up above...

DON
Playing doctor with Evelyn.

ALL
La la la

RICHIE
I'll show you mine,

ALL
La la

RICHIE
You show me yours

ALL
La la

KRISTINE
Seeing Daddy...naked!

ALL
Time to grow.
Time to go...

SHEILA
Surprise!

ALL
La la la

SHEILA
Mom and Dad were doing it.

ALL
Goodbye twelve, goodbye thirteen.
Hello love.

MAGGIE
Why do I pay for all those lessons?
Dance for gran'ma!
Dance for gran'ma!
(Chorus sings backup syllables under solo lines)

BEBE
My God, that Steve Mcqueen's real sexy,
Bob Goulet out, Steve Mcqueen in!

CASSIE
You cannot go to the movies
Until you finish your homework

AL
Wash the car,

MIKE
Stop pickin' your nose.

MAGGIE
Oh darling, you're not old enough to wear a bra.
You've got nothing to hold it up.

MARK
Locked in the bathroom with Peyton Place
(Chorus out)

VAL
Tits!
When am I gonna grow tits?

BOBBY
If Troy Donahue could be a movie star,
Then I could be a movie star.

JUDY
But the thing that made my mammy laugh so much was
When I used to jump and dance around the living room...
(Judy goes into pantomime. The people who sing "MOTHER" have moved into
formation with Maggie center.)

MAGGIE
Please take this message

To mother from me. AL
Carry it with you Dad would take mom to Roseland.
Across the blue sea. She'd come home with her shoes in her hand.

"Mother, DIANA
Oh, mother, Mother fat,
Wherever I go Always in the kitchen cooking all the time.

Your SHEILA
Maggie Darling,
Is missin' I can tell you now,
You so." Your father went through life with an open fly.

"mother, VAL
Oh, mother Tits! Where are my tits?

CASSIE
Wherever Listen to your mother.
I go Those stage and movie people got there
Because they're special.

Your GREG
Maggie You take after your father's side of the family,
Is missin' The ugly side.

PAUL
You Wait until your father gets home.

DON
So." Swear to god and hope to die.

CHORUS
Goodbye twelve goodbye thirteen hello la-a-a-ove.
Our broad goes out with other guys.
Early to rise.
Hello la-a-a-ove.
Our broad goes out with other guys.
Early to bed,

CASSIE
A diaphragm, a diaphragm.
I thought a diaphragm was up here,
Where you breathe.

DON
I bought a car. I bought my first car.

MIKE
Padiddle

MARK
Changes,
Oh, ev'ry girl I know has lockjaw of the legs down below.
Up a -...

CONNIE
You're not leaving this house 'til you're twenty-one.

KRISTINE
The ugliest boy asked me to the prom,
I stayed home.

VAL
Shit.
Made it through high school without growing tits.

RICHIE
...Doubt, my trouble is wine, women and song.
To break out I can't get any of 'em it's a mess.
Time to grow, mike time to go,
Your brother's going to medical school a-do
...and you're dropping out to be a chorus boy.
Nothing!

BEBE
Steve Mcqueen out. Nureyev in!

DIANA
You gotta know somebody to be somebody.

MAGGIE
Gra -- du -- a -- tion!

SHIELA
All you run around with are bums.

AL
I got Nancy's picture, Annabelle's locket,
Cynthia's ring and Lucy's pants.
Head-on collision! Eddie got killed....

RICHIE
Let's dance, let's dance

PAUL
What am I gonna say when he calls on me?

JUDY
(And Viki offstage)
My only adolescence,
My only adolescence,
My only adolescence.

JUDY, KRISTINE and VIKI
My only adolescence...

DIANA, BEBE
(And Lois offstage)
Where did it go?
It was so.... Where did it go? It was so....

VAL, DIANA, BEBE and LOIS
Where did it go? It was so.... Where did it go? It was so....

GREG, BOBBY, MIKE
Freshmore, Sophmore, Junior, Senior, Freshmore, Sophmore, Junior, Senior,

SHEILA, MAGGIE, DON
(And Tricia offstage)
Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen

MARK, CONNIE, CASSIE, RICHIE, MAGGIE, JUDY, VIKI, PAUL, LARRY, AL
Suddenly I'm seventeen and,
All suddenly I'm seventeen and,
Suddenly I'm seventeen and,
Suddenly there's a lot I am not certain of,
Goodbye twelve, goodbye thirteen, hello....
(ALL form into four groups for "scat" counterpoint section and dance break)

GIRLS, GROUP 1
Doo, dit dit doo, dit dit doo, dit dit doo, dit dit doo, dit dit doo,
Dit dit doo, dit dit doo, dit dit doo, dit dit doo, dit dit doo, dit dit doo,
Dt dit doo, dit dit doo, dit dit doo, dit dit doo, dit.

GIRLS, GROUP 2
Dee du dee du dee du, dee dee du dit, dee du dee du dee du, dee dee du dit,
Dee du dee du dee du, dee dee du dit, dee du dee du dee du, dee dee du dit,
Dee du dee du dee du, dee dee du dit, dee du dee du dee du, dee dee du dit,
Dee du dee du dee du, dee dee du dit, dee du dee du dee du, dee dee du.

BOYS, GROUP 3
Wah, wah wah wah, wah, wah wah wah, wah, wah wah wah, wah,
Wah wah wah, wah, wah wah wah, wah, wah wah wah, wah, wah wah wah, wah

BOYS, GROUP 4
Doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo ah, doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo ah,
Doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo ah, doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo ah,
Doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo ah, doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo ah,
Doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo ah, doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo ah,
(Dance breaks. The cast ends up in a clump center stage. Suddenly they
break into an angry and animated montage of individual stories, then
separating into two groups, right and left. Richie is left center stage.)

RICHIE
Gimme the ball, gimme the ball, gimme the ball. Yeah!
Gimme the ball, gimme the ball, gimme the ball. Yeah!
I was always runnin' around shoutin',
"Gimme the ball, gimme the ball, gimme the ball. Yeah"
I was so enthusiastic.
I was in ev'rything.
The yearbook is filled with my pictures,
And I was lucky 'cause I got a scholarship to college.
A scholarship to college! So I went.

ALL
So he went.

RICHIE
Yes, I went.

ALL
Yes, he went.

RICHIE
So I'm gonna be this kindergarten teacher...
Imagine me -- this kindergarten teacher? And I thought...shit

ALL
Shit, Richie.

RICHIE
Shit!

ALL
Shit, Richie.

RICHIE CHORUS
What are you gonna be?
Shit, Richie, shit, Richie,
When you get shoved outta here
Shit, Richie, shit, Richie, honey,
Aint nobody gonna be
Shit, Richie, shit, Richie,
Standin' there with no scholarship
Shit, Richie, shit, Richie, to life.

RICHIE
And I was scared.

ALL
Shit, Richie.

RICHIE
Scared

ALL
Shit, Richie.

RICHIE
Scared

ALL
Shit, Richie.

RICHIE
Scared

ALL
Shit, Richie.

GIRLS
My braces gone.

BOYS
My pimples gone.

ALL
My childhood gone, goodbye.
Goodbye twelve. Goodbye thirteen. Goodbye fourteen.
Goodbye fifteen. Goodbye sixteen. Goodbye seventeen.
Hello love.!
Go to it. Go to it.

BOYS
And now life really begins.

GIRLS
Go to it.

BOYS
And now life really begins.

GIRLS
Go to it.

BOYS
And now life really begins.

GIRLS
Go to it.

BOYS
And now life really begins.

GIRLS
Go to it.

ALL
Go to it.

Miscellaneous
Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love