Donald Swann & Michael Flanders Follow

So much building going on everywhere else,
On Salisbury plains nothing.
Nothing going on.
Hasn’t been any building for, ooh, four thousand years I suppose.
Even then, I dare say, in Neolithic times the was some old stone-age man standing in the observation platform,
Watching what was going on –
I dare say he didn’t care it much either…
[Grumble, grumble, grumble]
“Er, what’s this then?
You’re not going to put up these great ugly stone blocks, are you?”
“You can’t do that, I got ancient lights on my cave,”
“Well what is it anyway?”
A Henge?”
“Wh-What’s a henge?”
“Well, you may call it megalithic culture,
I call it vandalism!”
“I suppose you realize this is the last resting place for mammoths in the whole of Wessex?”
“What, with them building up the long barrows, and the round barrows and the bell shaped barrows …”
“They’ve starting carving out those white horses on the hills, have you seen that?”
“Some sort of ad for mead, I think.”
“They don’t call them the beaker folk for nothing, and then you come dragging along some of these great prefabricated dominos all over the road?”
They’re not meant for that type of traffic, every time it’s the same story, ox-carts nose to tail all the way to the coast.
I don’t know where you get that stone rom anyway, that’s not local stone, I can tell.”
You get them from where? The Preslei Mountains? “
“In Wales, I know it’s in Wales, I’ve been abroad”
What do you to bring it all that way, you bring it the wrong way anyway.
You want to bring it round the Canterbury ring. Avoiding earthworks at Amsbury, what an ‘orrible looking thing, well that’s all there is to it, it’s two up and one across the top, all the way around,
Well, if that’s modern architecture, roll on the ice-age, I say!
Well, you’ll never get a roof on it for a start, never get twigs big enough,
Yes, well we had a wood-henge here once, but it rotted,
These big picture windows you’ve got all around the bottom, but what about the draughts?
What about the lack of privacy?
Who wants to live in a thing like that?
Well, you let me know when they start moving, why don’t you. We get a rather rowdy crowd in some of these new developments.
I don’t want to end up under the altar stone in a crouching position.
It’s not going to be lived in, well that’s something, what is it then?
It’s a what? You’re putting me on, a calendar? Well, it’s a bit big for a calendar isn’t it?
I mean, you’d look a bit silly with that on your desk, wouldn’t you?
Well, how’d you work it then?
You come every morning before dawn,
Well better you than me mate, you’d ..
And when the rising sun throws a big shadow onto that stone here, then we will know if it’s summer,
Well, that will be very helpful, won’t it?
[Stifled giggle] Well is it summer?
You can’t tell, well I’d better come help you shovel the snow of it then, hadn’t I