Dane Cook Follow

We love car accidents in this country. We're obsessed with
car accidents!I know your like me, its like 2 in the
morning, it's dead quiet. Your in you're house
watching tv, your in bed. All of a sudden outside at the
corner you hear.SCREECHDamnit! Shit that sounded
like it was going to hit.You always want it to hit.
SCREECH. Come on! Nothing! Uh.Then when you finally hear
the crash your psyched, its like, Screech where are my
shoes? Yes, where are my shoes? Have you seen my shoes?
Fuck it, i'm going out without shoes.I'm going
out shoeless. Right, you come out of you're house, all you're neighbours are coming out, everyones coming
out, your like waving at each other. You're psyched
to see each other, come on! Lets go, you wanna go
together?Come on lets go, you me and you, no no, you wait
for the next group, you wait for the next group.
We'll go as a team, no no you wait,you wait for the
next group. Then you get out there, its no big deal,
but everyone stands out there for like, 2 extra hours. Its over, no ones hurt or anything but everyone has to stay
out there.Even if its hot everyone acts like its cold and
shit. Hey, whats up (chilly).Just had to see what was
going on. And It doesn't matter who you start talking
to, I guarantee everyone is having the same exact
conversation.No matter who you get into it with, all
anybody is saying like back and forth is like, Yeah, yeah
well no I was in my kitchen, and i heard it so i came out.
You were in your living room? I was in my kitchen cleaning
a dish. I heard it, I came out. What you were in
you're basement? He was in his living, I was in the
kitchen cleaning a dish, I was really cleaning, and I
heard it so i came out. What? Shoes? No, no, Fuck shoes! Haha shoes, hahaha listen to this guy with shoes.Hahaha
you, Shoes, over here.And everyone always wants to
be a part of like the police, you know what I mean. We
always wanna be involved, we wanna talk to the cops when
ever they come to your, you know, Officer, yeah yeah,
I'm sorry,yeah I just want you to know, if it helps
in your investigation, I was in my kitchen, and i heard it, so I came out. I will testify in court I was cleaning a dish,
I will bring the dish as exhibit A. And this guy, he was
in his basement. Tell him what you told me, tell him what
you told me, Thats not what he told me, he's lying,
thats not what you told me.