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Won't ya come on be my lady? Your cha cha cha drives me crazy
The big band possesses me from inside out , he's got class
Real clout the kind they talk about on the front page of the New York Times

He's got the gift of gab in rhyme, hear his name blow in the wind chimes
Of his Palm Springs patio, have a Martini, maybe one, two or three
Watch a couple westerns on my color TV, I wear a robe to the packy
In the morning to get the paper, the brain behind the caper

Kid don't bother stealing the hubcaps, steal the whole car
Half measures never ail us never got us so far sipping bath tub gin outa jars
Is it wrong to gamble or just to lose on this pleasure cruise?
Sitting in the pool hall, watching all the cool girls, who's the brain?

Who concocted such hairball schemes? I'm living on cloud nine
In champagne dreams, I'm spending thousands, carousing
Hundred bucks you wanna bet me? I'm dumping plates of spaghetti
On my new tuxedo, this cat took a leak in the back of my limo

Nobody knows me like my Yiddish sister Michelle Jacoby
Down at Vegas night at the Lion's Club, I'm going for broke
I'm the kinda guy when I move ya Better watch my smoke
When I'm not shaking hands or kissing babies, I'm down
At the senior citzens home doing a couple numbers for the old ladies

Won't ya come on be my lady? Your cha cha cha drives me crazy
The big band possesses me from inside out , he's got class