Barry Humphries Follow

I have lived all my life,
school girl, mother and wife,
in decent suburban seclusion.
But the call of the sea
has created in me
a curiously restless confusion.
Please don't think I'm disloyal
to my Moonee Ponds soil.
I adore it, but let me confess.
Now I'm back from abroad,
I'd love to afford
to change my historic address.

For it's all...
beautifully quiet in Highett,
where my Daughter and son in law dwell.
They've severed their bonds
with beloved Moonee Ponds
and I don't see why I can't as well.

For I'm dying to try it in Highett,
with the aid of those nice housing schemes.
Where the cream brick veneers
stay hygenic for years,
in Highett, the place of my dreams.

Please don't gather from this
I'm not going to miss
the suburb in which I was born.
I'll miss the old church,
but I long for a Birch
and a bird bath upon my front lawn.
The best Highett homes
have got hundreds of gnomes
all scattered about on the grass.
They have wrought iron too
in a pale duck-egg blue
and acres of sand blasted glass.

And if you...
want it, you buy it in Highett;
it's so close to the train and the bus.
As a matter of form
I even asked Norm
and he said it was just built for us.

You can't really deny it for Highett;
it's a really refined kind of part.
Be that as it well may,
I'll be closer to Valmay
and Highett has conquered my heart.

For it's all beautifully quiet in Highett (ha ha!).
It's so beautifully cosy and clean.
The folk who live there
never gossip or stare;
they're too busy watching a screen.

There's no place in Australia fooled by it.
It's spelled H-I-G-H-E-T-T.
Vaucluse and Toorak
can go to the pack.
It's quiet
Highett
for meeeeeeeee!
(High---ett)