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Kiss arses and pay tribute
But I'm inclined today to do those things anyway
And I don't care who hears it

Because I'm a fan of the Go-Betweens
A fan of Robert and I always have been
But I like Grant, not that I've met him
Because he's charming

Of all the stars and all the would be stars
I'd take him home to my mum and dad
Yeah, he's charming but he's a trouble maker too
He amuses me greatly

I like Lindy and I saw Vickers
Pete stole the set list and the itinerary
He wrote my name down as "Tour Rent Boy"
It was hard but so is life

I was making button badges
And I had too much time on my hands
I colored them by hand
Pere Ubu and the Sugarcubes

Kids came in to watch me
But Pete and Sean just scorned
Just like they scorned Robert
But I secretly loved the big guy
He dressed like Sherlock Holmes

And he fixed us with a quizzative eye
Before singing such romances
That only The Sods trampled underfoot by Thatcher
Could appreciate their love, could appreciate their love

Kiss arses and pay tribute
But I'm inclined today to do those things anyway