Anthony Newley Follow

Chatting with a chimp in Chimpanzee
Imagine talking to a tiger, chatting with a cheetah
What a neat achievement it would be

If we could talk to the animals, learn their languages
Maybe take an animal degree
We'd study Elephant and Eagle, Buffalo and Beagle
Alligator, Guinea Pig and Flea

We could converse in Polar Bear and Python
And we could curse in fluent Kangaroo
If people ask us, ‽Can you speak Rhinoceros?”
We'd say, "Of courserous, can't you?"

If we conferred with our furry friends, man to animal
Think of the all the things we could discuss
If we could walk with the animals, talk with the animals
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals
And they could talk to us

If we consulted with quadrupeds
Think what fun we'd have asking over crocodiles for tea
Or maybe lunch with two or three lions, walruses or sea lions
What a lovely place the world would be

We'd learn to speak in Antelope and Turtle
Our Pekingese would be extremely good
If we were asked to sing in Hippopotamus
We'd say ‽Whynotamous?”, and would

And I am sure every octopus, lobster and platypus
Certainly would see it as a plus
If we could walk with the animals, talk with the animals
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals
And they could talk to us

We'd learn to speak in Antelope and Turtle
Our Pekingese would be extremely good
If we were asked to sing in Hippopotamus
We'd say ‽Whynotamous?”, and would

If we all spoke like animals, who needs English?
Gradually, we'd drop it with no fuss
If we could walk with the animals, talk with the animals
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals
And they could squeak and squawk and speak and talk to us

Chatting with a chimp in Chimpanzee
Imagine talking to a tiger, chatting with a cheetah