Amos Milburn Follow

Mr. Johnson is out today with a virus
So I'll be your substitute teacher this afternoon
Before we get started, let me say this

I'm not as friendly as I look and I'm not as funny
As I look either, well let's get started
We're gonna start where Mr. Johnson left off
So if you'll turn your textbooks to page 86 and I'll begin

Sitting in my class with my head on my desk
Teacher's trying to talk but I could give a fuck less
I'm staring at this freak that I know I'm in love with
But she don't even know my name, it's always been the same

I just lay my head down and drown in my spit
Nobody even notices I'm here 'cuz I ain't shit
I'm hearing voices but I don't know what they're saying
Sweat is on my forehead 'cuz my brain's inside decaying

And this bitch that I love prob'ly don't have no idea
She's talking to her friends, I'm in the corner and I see her
Something happening but it isn't very clear
Sounds like a bell, sounds like an electric chair

Next thing you know I'm walking in a crowded hall
So many different faces that I throw up on the wall
Some are yelling sick and the others stop and stare
But I don't care, I'm in a hurry going nowhere

See my head is spinning 'cuz I'm lonely and I'm twisted
But I have a secret, everybody missed it
Just a nobody and I think It's a drag
But I got Mr. Johnson's head in my book bag

I couldn't stand the pressure, not another day
I didn't like the fucker Mr. Johnson anyway
I sat up in his class, he hung a rebel flag
I cut the bigot's head off and I stuffed it in my bag

I couldn't stand the pressure, not another day
I didn't like the fucker Mr. Johnson anyway
I sat up in his class, he hung a rebel flag
I cut the bigot's head off and I stuffed it in my bag

I wish somebody knew me 'cuz then they could say I'm wrong
But since nobody knows me, I got it going on
I'm staring at the clock, a tick and a tock
I got a couple food stamps folded in my sock

I must be a ghost, everybody walks through me
If I died in class, they would prob'ly say they knew me
Or they wouldn't care, they wouldn't even move
My dead body rotting in the back of the room

For weeks and months, stinking up the class
Until somebody notice, then they throw me in the trash
I can hear the teacher man talking about Columbus
He's nothing but an old dead fuck with a compass

Ran up on a beach and threw everybody off
And then we claim discovery and now we all applaud
I don't give a fuck to learn, you're all going to hell
I'm trapped in my mind and my brain is my cell

But I have the key, it's called insanity
I stick it in my brain to unlock eternity
I'm just a nobody and I think it's a drag
But I got Mr. Johnson's head in my book bag

I couldn't stand the pressure, not another day
I didn't like the fucker Mr. Johnson anyway
I sat up in his class, he hung a rebel flag
I cut the bigot's head off and I stuffed it in my bag

I couldn't stand the pressure, not another day
I didn't like the fucker Mr. Johnson anyway
I sat up in his class, he hung a rebel flag
I cut the bigot's head off and I stuffed it in my bag

Okay class, America is the land of the free
A land of democracy, a land without prejudice
And above all a land of freedom

That's the beautiful thing about our country
We are all treated equal, all races live together in harmony
What is it, Scott? Mr. Johnson already taught us this
Ain't he ever coming back? Well, uh

No, they can sit and front about it all day
But I left his fucking body in the hallway
And in the morning when they opened up the door
And seen his motherfucking carcass laying on the floor

But they would never suspect me, I'm just a nerd
I try to speak my word, it always goes unheard
I could chop my arms off and run around the class
I doubt they'd even notice and if they did, they'd laugh

Instead they'd rather learn about a redneck bastard
Who owned a couple slaves but I guess it don't matter
Fuck Washington, Benjamin, fuck 'em all now
They can suck my nuts 'til they wooden teeth fall out

And the class wanna know who could it be?
But I'm like Dewie-Booda, you never heard of me
I'm just a nobody and I think it's a drag
But I got his motherfucking head, hehe, in my book bag

I couldn't stand the pressure, not another day
I didn't like the fucker Mr. Johnson anyway
I sat up in his class, he hung a rebel flag
I cut the bigot's head off and I stuffed it in my bag

I couldn't stand the pressure, not another day
I didn't like the fucker Mr. Johnson anyway
I sat up in his class, he hung a rebel flag
I cut the bigot's head off and I stuffed it in my bag

I couldn't stand the pressure, not another day
I didn't like the fucker Mr. Johnson anyway
I sat up in his class, he hung a rebel flag
I cut the bigot's head off and I stuffed it in my bag
(Stop, stop, you gotta think straight, stop)

I couldn't stand the pressure, not another day
I didn't like the fucker Mr. Johnson anyway
I sat up in his class, he hung a rebel flag
I cut the bigot's head off and I stuffed it in my bag

I couldn't stand the pressure, not another day
I didn't like the fucker Mr. Johnson anyway
I sat up in his class, he hung a rebel flag
I cut the bigot's head off and I stuffed it in my bag

I couldn't stand the pressure, not another day
I didn't like the fucker Mr. Johnson anyway
I sat up in his class, he hung a rebel flag
I cut the bigot's head off and I stuffed it in my bag
My bag, in my bag, in my bag

Mr. Johnson is out today with a virus
So I'll be your substitute teacher this afternoon