Lard Follow

Don't ask me whyBut I was walking down the streetsOf Fairfax, CaliforniaAnd I saw this flyer hangin'On a telephone pole, and it saidCAN GOD FILL TEETH?That's right!For a $10 "Donation"You could see silver fillings turnTo gold and other "supernormal dental happenings."New caps! Filled cavities! Bring aFlashlight and a mirror to observe.But wait a minute -Didn't I just readAbout how the cops are getting parentsTo plant bugging devicesIn their kids teethSo if they disappear they can track 'emBefore they wind up on the backs of milk cartonsAnd all that -And didn't I readThat these devices can go two-wayAnd everything that I do or sayIs all goin' on tape somewhere right nowPlanted in my cavitiesAnd they didn't even tell meNo wonder every bad thingIn and out of my mouthKeeps winding up on my employment recordAll those fillingsAll those crownsI'll show themWho's boss of my big mouthWhere's the pliarsGod dammit! Where's the pliars?!?Wilma! Where'd you put my electric drillThis is all coming out right now - TODAY!Agh! Agh! Agh!Agh! Agh! Agh!Agh! Agh! Agh!Must be some kind of conspiracyThe whole world's a God damn conspiracyLook anywhere long enough, you're gonna find a conspiracyMan, LIFE is a conspiracy!Agh! Agh! Agh!Agh! Agh! Agh!Agh! Agh! Agh!NeedlenoseUp my nose- Agh! -Where did all these wires come from?How far up into my skull do they go?I pull out more and more copper spagettiHow'd my Weekly World News get all wet?God damn fishsticks melted againWhat are they trying to do to me?No secrets left in the land of the free!ThereNo one's gonna tell me what to doIt's worth eating baby foodThe rest of my lifeTo be a free manBastards:Probably wouldn't understand me anyway.